Living Aboard Ship
Page 7 of 11
- Gather all the dirty laundry and mix the clothing in a pile. Rip off every other button, pour bleach directly on the pile, stuff the washing machine to maximum capacity, DO NOT separate by colors. Partially dry items and redistribute the "clean" items in a random fashion among the group.
- Have everyone in your family hang two pillowcases next to their beds with large clothespins and mark them "white" and "blue" for their dirty clothes. On laundry day, put the pillowcases into two separate trash bags and designate a junior family member to drag them to the laundry room.
- Periodically wash the laundry with saltwater, bang zippers with a hammer, break buttons in half, and half dry the clothes. Have family put names on all clothing items and have then pick through a bag for their clean clothes.
- Enter an exotic foreign port and be told that only officers will have permission to leave the ship.
- On liberty in a white shirt and white pants (Dress Whites) eat out with friends at a local Italian restaurant;
- Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world travel."
- Submit a special request chit (form) to your father-in-law, requesting permission to leave your house before 1500 (3 pm). You must submit the request chit two days in advance. Instruct your father-in-law to hide for added realism. When you find him, listen to a lecture on "work ethics and responsibility."
- Stand in line at the local mini-mart to buy a lottery ticket when the jackpot is around $100 million.
- Stand in line for an hour at ship store only to find the store is out of sodas and the chocolate bars have white spots due to their age.