Anger

Expressing Anger

We cannot physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits the use of anger. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.

Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive, but not aggressive, manner is the healthiest way to deal with anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive does not mean being pushy or demanding, it means standing up for your principles and beliefs without being disrespectful of yourself and others.

Anger may be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into behavior that is more constructive. The danger in this type of response is that if it is not allowed outward expression, your anger may turn inward. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. Anger may be redirected by using it in a constructive way, such as punching heavy bag or running until exhausted. Punching a hole in the wall is not a constructive action.