Anger
Page 11 of 14
Change Your Environment
Sometimes it is our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities may weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some personal time scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful.
If you find you tend to get angry at certain times, try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks do not turn into arguments. If certain things tend to make you angry, avoid them as much as possible or find alternatives.
When something makes you angry, ask yourself
- Is there sufficient evidence to back up the interpretation you have made of the event that is angering you?
- Is there another way of looking at this event? Try to entertain one or two other explanations for what you have interpreted as "deliberate provocation."
- So what! Will it amount to anything three hours from now?
- What will the outcome be? Thinking of potential outcomes of our actions is not easy, much less when you are in a state of anger. Anger is by nature "single minded." Extreme anger almost always has negative outcomes.
- Where is the other person coming from? Anger creates cognitive myopia. Symptomatic of anger is a narrowing of focus on what we perceive as injustice. Therefore, it is more difficult to empathize with others when we are angry. Force yourself to empathize EARLY ON, before anger is out of control. Even just momentarily considering the validity of the other person's feelings can be enough to ebb anger to the extent that it is manageable.