Jokes
Twin boys are put up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt who name him Ahmal. The other is adopted by a family in Spain who names him Juan. Years pass, and Juan sends a photo of himself to his birth mother. "Oh, I wish I had a photo of Ahmal too," the mother says. "They're twins," her sister reminds her. "If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A bicycle can't stand on its own because its two-tired.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it your count that votes.You show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you a A-flat Minor.
A charity telemarketer called a man for a donation. The man told the caller, "Do you realize that my mother is ill with medical bills several times her annual income?" "Um, no" mumbled the caller. "Or that my brother is blind and unemployed?" Or that my sister's husband died leaving her penniless with three kids?" The shocked caller replied, "I'm sorry, I had no idea." "So," said the owner, "If I don't give them any money, why would I give any to you?"