Jokes
Eclipse: What a cockney barber does for a living.Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife.Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.
An excited woman called her husband at work/ "I won the lottery!" she exclaimed. "Pack your clothes!" "Great!" he replied. "Summer or winter clothes?" "All of them–I want you out of the house by six!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain shot? He said he wanted to transcend dental medication.
A Legal Question: if you pushed your naked clone off a building, would you be charged with murder, suicide, or making an obscene clone fall.
Two bees met on a bush. One complains, "I have been able to find any food or pollen all day." The other replies, "I just came from a bar mitzvah down the street that has lots of fresh flowers and fruit. But first, you had better put my yarmulke on, you don't want them to think you're a WASP."