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What are Black Belts?

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  • When you say "no one's perfects", black belts take it as a personal insult.
  • If you work in an office with a black belt, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch. 
  • When a black belt orders a steak, the steak does as it was told.
  • Black belts use Tabasco sauce instead of Visene. 
  • A man once claimed a black belt kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false – once is sufficient.
  • Black belts see dead people.   
  • If a black belt wants your opinion, he will beat it into you.
  • They once made black belts toilet paper, but there was a problem—it wouldn't take shit from anybody.      
  • "Sweating bullets” is what occurs when you point a gun at a black belt. 
  • Black belt do not daydream, they cause nightmares.
  • Black belts never have heart attacks; their hearts are not foolish enough to attack them.
  • There are no lesbians, just women who have never met a black belt. 
  • Why did the black belt cross the road? No one knows. No one has ever dared question his motive.
  • Black belts do not ask, "Who's your daddy?" They already know the answer. 
  • The pen is mightier than the sword—if the pen is held by a black belt. 
  • Black belts know the last digit of pi. 

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