It is a Game
In free-sparring, you safely use everything you have learned to spar with an opponent. Within the safety guidelines of your association or school, almost everything is permitted. Who is considered the better fighter depends on who is making the decision. Each fighter, each judge, each instructor, and each spectator will have an opinion and they will probably disagree on the winner. However, only the opinion of the center referee matters.
Tournament sparring is a game of tag. Some rules may favor one opponent over another, such as in Taekwondo America where kicks to the head score more than kicks to the body. This tends to favor the taller fighter. Techniques best suited for your height and flexibility may not be permitted. To win, you must be a good fighter, but you must also be able to use the rules to your benefit.
In point fighting, it not how powerful you are or how proficient you are at sparring, it is how well you play the game. This means you must understand the game and all the rules and learn to play by the rules while using them to your own advantage.
Some instructors stress the tournaments should be fun, that winning is not the important. Well, there are many cheaper ways to have fun, and the best way to ensure you have fun at a tournament is to win. Winners have much more fun than losers. Even if you lose, you gain experience that will help you win next time and maybe losing will give you the determination you need to train for the next tournament.
Do not take life so seriously! Things happen in life that we do not like, learn to accept them. If tournaments were judged by the number of happy people leaving after they end, then most tournaments would be judged as failures. Most tournaments have a few happy people with trophies, and many, many people without trophies ( and some with trophies) who are unhappy and think the tournament was either biased or judged by incompetents.
Face Your Fear
While a point tournament is a game, there is still a possibility for injury. For some this causes anxiety. As time nears for the day of the tournament, focus on calming your anxieties and developing your confidence. Replace all negative thoughts about injury, looking bad, losing, etc., with positive thoughts. This helps development of your character and motivates you during long hours of training, which is more important than who wins the tournament.