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Self-esteem is a democratic idea. In a hierarchical society, one’s self-image is determined by one’s role: as patriarch, as Brahmin, as elder, etc. Aristocratic societies do not speak of self-esteem but of honor. In a democratic society, self-esteem is regarded as an entitlement. Unlike honor, it does not have to be earned.

Self-esteem in the West is largely a product of the Romantic Movement, which exalts feelings over reason, the subjective over the objective. Self-esteem is based on the wisdom that Polonius imparted to Lacerates: to thine own self be true. We are encouraged to discover and then affirm our inner selves, which will lead to personal achievement and satisfaction.

This is one of the conclusions drawn by advocates of multiculturalism. Their premise is that the traditional Western curriculum makes minority and female students feel ignored and left out. They argue that the result of such exclusion is an injury to self-esteem and an impediment to the academic achievement of women and minorities. Therefore, there are now many programs to boost the self-image of students, and not just minority students. One such program is Outcomes Based Education, which downplays grades and other measures of merit and instead focuses on such things as maintaining “emotional and social well-being” or developing “a positive personal self-concept.” As has been shown in numerous studies, this does not make successful students; it only makes happy students.

This obsession with avoiding hurting a person’s self-esteem has been carried to the extreme. In 2001, four seventh-graders at Ridgefield Academy in Connecticut broke into the school, ransacked it, and later bragged about it. The school did not press charges but expelled the students. Parents of one boy sued because the treatment had caused their son “feelings of unworthiness” and left his “self-worth impugned.”

In Rhode Island, official at Barrington High School determined it would be wrong to bar a student from the school’s track team, even though he is confined to a wheelchair. Therefore, they let him compete with able-bodied runners in the 100-meter dash. In Portland, Maine, residents of public housing were told to remove “Happy Holidays” signs in December because some people may feel excluded. In Manhattan, Rodeph Sholom Day School eliminated Mother’s Day because not all students have mothers at home. Some have two fathers, so Mother’s Day “may not be a positive experience.” A few years ago, the Journal of Physical Education, Recreation & Dance, argued that traditional children’s games, such as dodge ball, kick ball, and tag, are competitive and exclusionary, and therefore, bad for a child’s self-esteem.

How does any of this help a child face life? Life is tough. To survive, you must be tough. Real life is based on hierarchy. The smartest, hardest working, and most talented people are at the top. It is called meritocracy. It may not be the way we want it to be, but it is the way life is. Praising a person when he or she has not met standards or has failed may make the person feel better, but it does not mean the person has accomplished anything.

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