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• You're a good example of why some animals eat their young. -- Jim Samuels

• You're a mouse studying to be a rat. -- Wilson Mizner

• You're a parasite for sore eyes. -- Gregory Ratoff

• You are so pure in mind and heart, In aspect, too, so mild, I wonder that you ever could Implant your wife with child. -- Unknown

• You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. -- Irvin S. Cobb

• You had to stand in line to hate him. -- Hedda Hopper

• You have a good and kind soul. It just doesn't match the rest of you. -- Norm Papernick

• You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner. -- Aristophanes

• We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.

• You have delighted us long enough. -- Jane Austen

• You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving. -- David Letterman

• You really have to get to know him to dislike him. -- James T. Patterson (about Thomas Dewey)

• You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin. -- Joe Orton

• You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it. -- Groucho Marx

• Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time. -- Frederic Raphael

• A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

• Alone? You are in in bad company.

• Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

• Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

• Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

• Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

• He has depth, but only on the surface. Down deep inside, he is shallow.

• He is always lost in thought - it's unfamiliar territory.

• I'd like to give you a going-away present...but you have to do your part.

• I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

• I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter but now I see you are not worth it!

• I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.

• I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening

• I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.

• If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

• If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

• If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

• If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!

• Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.

• Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?

• Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

• Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

• So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

• The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

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