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Most martial arts have an oriental background so they are steeped in Far Eastern culture. Westerners have a curiosity about Eastern ways and thinks they are interesting. Different martial arts use varying amounts of Eastern culture, but none is required.
Simple works best. When your instructor tries to make something simple into something complicated, secret, or mystical, find another instructor. This is not rocket science.
These are basically all mumbo jumbo. All they really involve is concentrating your mind and body on the task at hand with such intensity that everything else becomes secondary. Many athletes of other sports speak of this feeling, they just do not make it into something mystical and complicated. Any athlete that is a the top of his or her game experiences it.
Breathe deep, slow breaths through the nose using the diaphragm and exhale slowly through the mouth using the diaphragm. That is about it for breathing. Everything else is mumbo jumbo.
Get into a relaxed position in a quiet place, close your eyes, and breath as described above. On the exhale, use to your breath to faintly hum some meaningless word (such as "Ohmmm"), relax the body, empty your mind, and concentrate on the meaningless word. Do this for 10 to 20 minutes at a time at least once a day. That is it. No need for transcendental meditation, yoga, or any other meditation mumbo jumbo.
Toughening the hands or nay other body part is unnecessary unless you make your living wrecking buildings with your body.
There are hundreds of self-defense techniques used by numerous styles of martial arts, but self-defense is really very simple: Block'em! and Sock'em!
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